About the fear of closeness and loss, there is an apt saying: “Feelings are only for the very courageous!” The topic of attachment anxiety or fear of relationship and fear of closeness usually speaks of people who are emotionally unavailable. Although they are looking for a partner or in a relationship, they often and quickly feel the urge to distance themselves again. Showing emotions is difficult for them. They suffer from and under their proximity-distance problem, concentrated loss anxiety that comes up when there is a lot of closeness or proximity is required/expected. At such moments, they tend to separation or control addiction as a protective mechanism. This is due to their insecurity in dealing with emotions. Because love and relationship are often equated with emotional insecurity, the fear of not having enough, the fear of having to have something (e.g. to meet the expectations of the partner, otherwise …) and above all the fear of being abandoned,
Fear of closeness: love and grief, loss and fear
If you are relationship-anxious, have special challenges with closeness, it is always because of what you associate with closeness, what you have learned, what demands closeness or pulls you. First of all: You are not afraid of relatives if you can answer yes to the following questions:
Can you show and allow your feelings?
Are you able to let yourself down, to let yourself in, to allow yourself feelings (anger, open sadness, fear), to endure your feelings, to trust someone, to trust someone?
Do you dare to do something yourself? Do you have a good basic feeling about the world, people, love and relationships (of all kinds)? Does your sense of closeness security outweigh the potential fear of suffering a new pain? Do you believe in love and the good in partnerships despite negative experiences? Fear of closeness often affects women People without attachment or relationship anxiety are in a position to believe in themselves, the success of a partnership and love. They bring with them (almost unbreakable) basic trust, whereas people fearful of binding lack this confidence. They stand for achievement, perfectionism, charm, and attraction despite deep-seated, mostly invisible or denied fear. They hide their insecurities well, but find it difficult to be in a relationship and in relation to stay; Relationship problems that arise are a signal to them that it just cannot work. Each proximity-distance they feel like a roller that rolls through her life … and brings everything off balance.
Relationships bring new uncertainty or endanger life as it is. Instead, they stick to what they have built up. It gives them a hold. These can be animals, friends, family members, jobs, careers, money, etc. They therefore seek before and in a relationship protection against possible insecurities (aka injuries of their heart and life) in which they to cheat on always retreat acutely or disconnect for a short time (opt for an on-off relationship, affair or infidelity instead of partnership) Exercise control to minimize the partner’s needs/expectations manipulate. People with this form of relationship anxiety are REALLY afraid of not being lovable (enough), being hurt (and recognized as they really are), and therefore suffering separations/losses. At the same time, they have a fear of self-loss. (They often set their lives up very well.) Avoiding all these things and join free chat rooms.
Psychology assumes that they have mostly learned from their parents, a previous partner, or other relationships (often in combination) that attachment is unstable, emotional security would not last, or could only be sustained with large sacrifices on their side, they assume that a relationship will either break after a certain time (because of them or the partner). Or they think that they can neither love nor be lovable. For avoiding in all these things join free chat rooms and let’s start a free chat with strangers.
I myself had this fear for years (without knowing it, I was the suffering part of the active-passive fear partnerships): Therefore, I ask all concerned partners to understand that also “WE” wish us a good and harmonious relationship. It hampers only – depending on experience – in the fortärkenden experiences. (If we do not allow them, we will not be able to experience them, but many will not realize that until later when they themselves are suffering from their sewing anxiety.) They are looking for a love-based relationship (love here as an individual definition) for a couple of years’ experience (because of their attitudes and the people who attract them) the same experiences:
They either become disappointed or disappointed themselves. (One can also say that either they are not enough in the eyes of the partner or the partner is still good enough in their eyes.) In doing so, they often evaluate the person who shows them feelings when dating, (An ambiguous doctrine that made me move for years: either hurting you or hurting you.) Seeking answers to why they find it so difficult to engage with someone, they either persist in making others the problem and in him / to blame her. However, many people know their own problem very well: they can only love hard and be loved because they experienced broken bonds that signaled to them that relationships are insecure, that they themselves (maybe) are not lovable for a long time (and the other is not, after all, he has hurt the relationship-anxious).